Winter Term Reflection

I think I learned as much, if not more, from the experience of this semester than from the content of our homework or essays. Because winter term focused on social justice issues beyond sustainability alone, the whole class was forced to discuss things personal to each person's value system. In the last three weeks of class, each mentor lab (12:00 group, 1:00 group, and 2:00 group) led the class through discussions and activities from Wes Moore's The Other Wes Moore. The most successful and impacting discussions, I believe, happened in small groups in which we shared our own experiences with prejudice, suffering, abuse, bad choices, and privilege. Talking about these issues in a personal way, even if that meant debating over definitions or crying at the table, brought the race, privilege, and drug abuse issues in the book to a higher level of empathy and understanding than a raw "hand-raising" lecture would have. At one point in the semester, also, we were made to take implicit bias tests in our mentor labs, which showed many of us that we had biases against other races, body types, or origins that we've been consciously fighting, perhaps for years.

I learned a lot about my peers this semester, but I also strengthened some friendships that began last semester and grew my own interpersonal skills. I was chosen to lead my mentor lab twice this term, along with my classmate Teresa Brink, in our Wes Moore class period and a panel discussion about oil and gas. First, group projects always intimidate me. I have a hard time affirming myself and managing a group of people. I thank Teresa for her graceful but firm leadership style, because she helped me to be organized and clear-thinking throughout both projects. I tend to take on a lot more work than I should in a group project, which defeats the purpose of my learning how to create something with other equally unique and talented people as myself. Second, I learned that I belong here. In my mentor lab, in my freshman inquiry class, and in PSU. After struggling through a horrendous childhood, a long bout with mental illness, and a longer hiatus from school, I have struggled to feel like I have a future or a path forward. This semester I have started to write for the school newspaper, I have started to work in my garden, I have reconnected with old friends, and I have really tried to put myself out there more in school and encourage some more confidence inside of myself. Having almost everyone in my mentor lab, including people I did not know very well, vote for me for the first project, was so humbling for me. Honestly, I'm conditioned to be the last person picked for the team. To know a group of people trusted me to help them along through a project, as insignificant as it may be in our college careers, was a blessing to me. That was one of the nudges I really needed this semester to get me going again.

Finally, we did so much this semester! I suppose it feels like we went through a lot more material this semester than last because we raced through a variety of topics rather than just sustainable food systems. We monitored and reported on our own energy usage and how we could mitigated it, we read a book about how climate change effects the people most that contribute to it the least, we watched a documentary about implicit bias, we wrote reading responses about climate change, we did two group projects, and we wrote a thorough research brief at the end of the semester. We really learned how to be versatile, how to pound out papers, and how to push through things and organize ourselves to get it all done. As someone who struggles with organization and managing stress, this semester was good training for me as I begin going to school full-time.

A response to everything we learned? There is a lot to chew on right now. But right now I feel like I'm in class with a lot of people I can trust. It is a safe space to talk and share differing opinions. After the weather this year, though, I'm ready to get outside in the spring.